Ok, so I may have made reference to yummy mummies and dishy daddies in a previous blog, which has caused somewhat of a discussion on my twitter time line, and as a result, a number of blogs on the subject too.
The question raised: are the terms “Yummy Mummy” and “Dishy Daddy” just fluffy versions of MILF and DILF, but with the same sexual connotation? Are they degrading, patronising and offensive terms to use? Or are they fun, cheeky and in a roundabout way…complimentary?
It seemed wrong to sit back and let the World (slight exaggeration) mull this matter over, when I in fact seemed to start it. So, let me give you my take!
I have never read or been made aware of the “official” definitions, so to begin, I looked up the online meaning of Yummy Mummy and Dishy Daddy:
Yummy mummy is a slang term used in the United Kingdom to describe young, attractive and wealthy mothers (WIKIPEDIA)
Dishy Daddy – surprisingly, I could find no precise definition.
Now let me share with you what would I define as a yummy mummy or dishy daddy?
I have a close group of friends who are all mums and we meet when we can for either play dates with the children, or for meals / nights out without the children. We call one another “Yummies” and by no means are offended by the term “Yummy Mummy”. My Yummies are all beautiful women: inside and out. They are genuine, generous, empathetic, non judgemental and loyal, but most of all, they are all wonderful, devoted and loving mothers. I feel truly blessed for our paths to have crossed.
We all like to take care of ourselves, physically, aesthetically and mentally – but this by no means suggests we dress in designer labels, are baby puke free or go for weekly pedicures and hair appointments (not that there is anything wrong with mothers who do). These days I buy my clothes in Florence and Fred (Tesco), regularly joke about my perfume being ‘eau de bebevomit’, last had a pedicure 9 months ago (because I was heavily pregnant and couldn’t reach my toes) and I can’t even recall when I last had a haircut! However, my point is, we do take pride in our health and appearances, and why shouldn’t we? Just because you become a parent does not mean you are no longer entitled to make time for yourself.
My yummies and I love the opportunity to get dressed up, put on a bit of warpaint and spend the odd night being “us”. I personally believe this is vital in life and an absolute must as a parent, to retain your identity and not lose interest in yourself. Beyond ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ there is YOU, and you are important too.
Are my yummies attractive and good looking? Well, I am completely biased, but I strongly consider them all to be aesthetically pleasing too. But this has nothing to do with me referring to them as Yummy. Yummy, to me, is an endearing term for these lovely ladies who have been a lifeline to me since having children. Plus, it rhymes with Mummy! Bonus.
THE HUBBY’S TAKE
My husband refers to us all as the Yummy Mummies so I asked him his thoughts. He agreed that they are all lovely women and he is so glad that I have become acquainted with them. However, by referring to them as yummy does not mean he wishes to sleep with them all. “As if he’d tell you anyway” I hear you all say, but let me tell you, my husband and I have a very honest, straight talking relationship when it comes to things of this nature. And he would tell me!
He also agreed with me that, in his opinion, Yummy Mummy does not carry the same sexual innuendos as the term MILF.
MILF and DILF
We know full well the meanings of MILF and DILF. They are straight and to the point. A mum or dad that you would like to, ahem, have sex with, of the ‘vulgar’ kind apparently.
I will admit right now, that my husband often refers to me as a MILF. Am I offended? Not at all. I find it amusing. I also admit that I love the fact that my husband still finds me so sexually attractive, after all this time, and with the lumps and bumps I’ve gained from having two children. MILF and DILF are terms that are used within our circle of friends, and at one another, but are completely used as harmless, tongue in cheek fun.
Would I feel as comfortable with a stranger calling me a MILF? In all honesty, I certainly wouldn’t lose sleep over it.
However, I once had a young boy on a bike ride past and say, “Cor, what a MILF!” This was NOT okay. In fact, very not okay. However, I think this was more because of how old it made me feel! The term MILF (and DILF) if typed into google, bring up images of a pornographic nature, which I have no problem with my husband envisaging me in, but certainly not a young boy. However I am able to laugh about it now. The sexual connotations that MILF and DILF conjur up mean that I completely understand how people could take offence to these terms being used in their direction. However, on the whole, I am not one of those.
BUT WHAT IS A DISHY DAD???
As there are no clear definitions, I can only offer my personal opinion, and that is, the male equivalent of what I class as a yummy mummy: an attractive man (and not just sexually or physically) who is also a wonderful, devoted father. The few fathers I have discussed this subject with, said they would feel nothing but flattered and complimented if referred to as a Dishy Dad in this sense. But as always, that is not to say that this term is for everyone!
PROUD MUMA’S CONCLUSION
I think what this all boils down to is our own interpretations of the terms. We live in a very politically correct World (if not a little too politically correct at time) and what may be one person’s cup of tea, may not be anothers. What I’m trying to say is… you can never please everyone. Before writing this piece, I had no idea of the definition of a “yummy mummy” and only had my personal formulated definition. Even having read the online definitions, I still stick my my inference of the phrases and am completely comfortable with those.
I am prouder than ever to be a confident, hard working, passionate, loving and happy mummy.
I am also proud to be me: confident, hard working, passionate, loving and happy ME.
Yumminess (or dishiness) is not just an external attribute – it shines from within 🙂
ProudMuma signing off…x