I’m sad to say that today ProudMuma reached breaking point and there were tears at breakfast time, courtesy of moi!
It has been a long week of nursing my two poorly boys and my husband who had man flu, inbetween working full time, re-organising childcare and running the household singlehanded – with little sleep and whilst being poorly myself. There hasn’t really been a moments respite for ProudMuma all week.
As a bit of a perfectionist, I always keep going, pushing the boundaries and burning the candle, telling myself “I’m fine” and “I can handle this”, because I want to be the best mum and wife I possibly can.
But when I take off my supermum costume, underneath I am a human being. Like everyone else.
Whilst I love and cherish my role as Muma and wife, there is only so much one person can deal with before they snap.
And this morning I snapped.
Its silly, as I have allowed myself to get into this situation before by ignoring the signs telling me to take time out. Until its too late, and I explode into a sobbing, emotional wreck.
And I begrudgingly admit, like a lot of other Mum’s, I carry that negative self belief that by asking for help or admitting you’re struggling, you are failing as a mother. What a completely irrational and ridiculous belief that is! Yet I allow it to keep getting the better of me.
No more though!
I told my husband I had to go out, got in my car, turned up my music and I drove. I didn’t know where. I needed to be somewhere quiet where I could gather my thoughts without interruption – and where I could rationally tell that negative self belief where to get off! I found myself at my work place, of all places, and sat in the darkness and silence for a while until I’d found some peace. What a difference it has made!
Mummy (and Daddy) Time Out is vital. It is crucial to your emotional and physical wellbeing. You may feel guilty for leaving your children to do something for yourself, but you can not be the best, if you are not physically and emotionally strong. That’s not disregarding the fact that we completely deserve time out to acknowledge, praise and reward ourselves for the amazing job we do as parents.
In life, we may not always get the thanks or appreciation we feel we deserve, but we should not rely on external sources to feel happy and proud of our acheivements. Say thankyou to yourself by taking some time out and doing something for you. Whether that be reading a book, having a massage, going to the gym, walking in the woods, buying yourself something you’ve wanted for a while but keep putting off, meditation, lunch with friends or writing a blog (like me!)
I left my house just over an hour ago, and in that short amount of time, I feel calm, relaxed, positive and emotionally strong – and ready to go home and REALLy enjoy some quality time and cuddles with my boys.
And the next time I find myself getting tired, frustrated, irritable or at breaking point – I will send myself straight to Time Out.
You should try it too… 🙂