I just love being pregnant.
I don’t have the easiest of pregnancies physically, but I am so filled with positive emotions and beautiful hormones throughout, that the whole experience is euphoric and magical.
Throughout my last pregnancy, I found myself driven to do things I’d never dared to before. I found this amazing lust for life. I was inspired, motivated and passionate. I was completely “in flow” as some may put it.
This state continued after my beautiful baby was born and throughout breastfeeding. I achieved so much in this time, from a diploma to two professional certifications. I started a personal development blog which took off like a storm with many followers. I lost all of my baby weight within a short amount of time and actually became my slimmest in over a decade. I was eating and drinking healthily. My relationship with my husband and older son was stronger and more loving than ever. I felt and looked amazing and was the happiest I had ever been. EVER. However, at 6 months, I returned to work and we gradually weaned off of the breast.
After weaning, I noticed a drop in my motivation and drive. I dried up on inspiration for my blogs and almost ceased to write them. I found myself watching daytime TV again during my baby’s naps, whereas before I would have seen this as a perfect chance to research, study or for self development – or even to just sit and watch him sleep! I had trouble sleeping and mood swings. I began eating more and drinking more alcohol to pass time in the evenings. I even put on weight.
It was almost as though I had been possessed with this amazing inspirational being for a whole year, who had suddenly left me… and quite frankly, I felt a little lost. I longed for that fizz of excitement for life, that beautiful sustained feeling of love for everything and everyone that I had had throughout my pregnancy.
I had read a lot about oxytocin before and after giving birth, and was aware of the powerful positive feelings it overwhelms the body with on its release (including throughout pregnancy, labour and breastfeeding). I wondered if perhaps, now I was no longer breastfeeding, and no longer getting that regular burst of the hormone, that my body was experiencing some kind of withdrawal! I had unbelievable irrational cravings for that euphoric, overwhelming, loving feeling again.
I have read a few case studies about women who experienced similar occurences, and it was put down to postnatal depression for which they were prescribed anti depressants. I found that you could buy an oxytocin spray online, which would give you an instant burst of the hormone. Tempted as I was, I have always been hesitant to rely on any external stimulants, as they could lead to addiction, and I strongly believe it is best to find the cure from within yourselves. That way, you can tap into it whenever you need a little lift!
And so my quest began: to find a natural way of releasing oxytocin, empower women who have found themselves in a similar situation – and hopefully become that inspirational, driven woman I was again!
I would firstly like to ask all other amazing mothers out there, whether they have had similar experiences as me, and how you dealt with it? Any comments would be gratefully received.
For now though, this is ProudMuma signing off… X